Cast of Characters
Cricket / Donkey
Lampwig / Donkey
Abbott / Berkley
Lotti / Abner
Jamie / Terrin
Niles / Munroe
Reed / Donkey
Liam / Donkey
Lampwig: Geppetto, you have new puppets. These are great.
Geppetto: And I’ve enjoyed making every one of them.
Lampwig: Look at this one. It’s old like you.
Geppetto: Perhaps, but with age, comes wisdom.
Lampwig: It’s fun to make ‘em move and dance. All the puppets look so real. Did you make every one of these yourself?
Geppetto: I sure did. (walks over to other group of people)
Jamie: I’ll take this one.
Geppetto: Excellent choice. I remember carving this one. He’s one of my favorites.
Jamie: Your craftsmanship is uncanny. Your work is unlike any I’ve ever seen.
Niles: The detail you’ve carved into each puppet makes them seem as though they’re real.
Reed: Geppetto, can you show us how your puppets move? Everyone says that you can make them come to life with just one pull of a string.
Liam: Could you tell us a story with your puppets? How about one with a castle and a wizard?
Lampwig: (Acting it out) The lovely maiden runs from the evil sorcerer only to find that her beloved prince has been poisoned by the wicked queen.
Geppetto: I tell you what, how about some of you try your own hand at puppetry. Then, you can create your own story. It’s really not that hard.
Reed: I’ll take this one.
Liam: This one looks fun.
Geppetto: Go ahead, pick one up and give it a try. It’s easy to make them come to life.
Geppetto: I have something I’d like to show all of you. (gets the Pinocchio puppet) This here is the most magnificent puppet I’ve ever carved. I just finished him last night.
All: (Ad Lib) Wow! Oooooo! Look at ‘em.
Abbott: He’s great, Geppetto. I think he’s your best one yet.
Lotti: He’s funny looking. Why’s his nose so long?
Geppetto: He has a hard time telling the truth. Every time he fibs, his nose grows a little bit longer.
Abbott: Hey, Lotti, maybe that’s your problem. You got that honker from tellin’ too many lies all your life. (All laugh)
Lotti: And I guess you got those big ears from listening to all of ‘em. (All laugh again)
Teacher: What’s his name, Geppetto?
Geppetto: My friends, I’d like to introduce to you, my son, Pinocchio.
Crowd: (Ad Lib) His/her son Pinocchio? Did you hear that? He/She called him his/her son.
Abbott: Did Geppetto just call that puppet his/her son?
Lotti: That’s what I heard ‘em/’er say. Geppetto must be gettin’ a little bit cuckoo in his/her old age.
Abbott: I hear that’s what happens when you’re around so much sawdust. (Lotti and Abbott leave)
Teacher: The cost of that one must be high, but I can see it would be well worth it. I would love to have him in my classroom. The students would adore him. (Open purse) Alright, Geppetto, how much do you want for this...Pinocchio?
Geppetto: Oh, this one’s not for sale, but any other puppet in my workshop is.
Teacher: How about this one, then?
Reed & Liam: (ad lib) Look at that one! It’s so cool!
Geppetto: Sold! (Teacher pays and walks away) I’m sure they’ll love that one.
Lampwig: I think you’re the greatest puppet maker there ever was. Could you teach me how to make puppets?
Geppetto: Sure, Lampwig. Come by anytime and we’ll let you try your hand at carving.
Lampwig: Thanks, Geppetto, I’ll come as soon as I can.
(Lampwig waves goodbye as he leaves. Geppetto turns away to work.)
(Stromboli, Foxx & Katt come in from behind the window)
Stromboli: Friends, I am lookin’ at an old man/woman that is half blind, has struggles with good fashion and is probably wearing dentures.....but, one that can carve the best puppets I’ve ever seen.
Foxx: We need to buy all these puppets and put ‘em in our new show.
Katt: We ain’t got no money to buy ‘em, dumbo.
Foxx: Sure we do. We could use the money we stole from that collection plate the other day, duh!
Stromboli: But why use the money we stole? Why not just... steal the puppets?
Foxx: Because Boss, he's/she's old. I mean, we’re low but we’re not that low… Are... are we?
Katt: Yeah, Boss. There are certain lines you just don’t cross. And stealing from someone that’s got one foot in the grave will probably cause us to have quite a bit of guilt.
Foxx: And that would lead to much needed counseling.
Katt: Then that would lead to questioning every bad thing we’ve ever done.
Foxx: And that would lead to a change of heart.
Katt: Then that would lead to us becomin’ good and kind and actually caring about people and their feelings.
Foxx: That sounds horrible!
Katt: That sounds terrifying!
Stromboli: (to audience) That sounds like my worst nightmare! (all three shiver at the thought) Let’s go…and grab a puppet on your way out.
(Stromboli, Foxx and Katt leave stage)
(Cuckoo clock sounds)
Geppetto: It must be closing time. Come on, Pinocchio, you need your rest. (Hangs puppet) You are better than anything I’ve ever carved before. You are my masterpiece. Even if you are just a puppet, I’ll treat you like a son. I wish you could walk and talk, but I know that will never happen. (Sigh) I guess I’ll always be alone.
(Geppetto falls asleep in chair - Cricket enters)
Cricket: I’ve been watchin’ from the window, Pinocchio. That Geppetto sure does want a boy of his/her own. All made of wood, are you? You’d make some termite a good meal. Come on, smile, sport. This beats being a piece of driftwood. (Cricket walks over to fireplace and almost falls asleep. There is a knock at the door. Cricket hides as Lampwig enters.)
Lampwig: Geppetto, I’m here for my carving lesson. (Thinks he sees a puppet move) What was that? (Cricket pops out) Aggg!
Lampwig: You’re a... a cricket.
Cricket: Now, now. I’m a lot more than your standard garden variety cricket.
Lampwig: Well that’s obvious. I don’t know many garden crickets that walk around talking.
Cricket: I wandered into some radioactive slime when I was a wee little hopper. I got super powers from it, you know. Watch this. (Struggles to lift up a piece of wood. Lampwig comes over and takes it from him.)
Lampwig: What are you doing in Geppetto’s workshop?
Cricket: I was passing by and saw that poor sap wishing on a star for his puppet to become a real boy. Brought me to tears, you know… So I came in to see this special puppet. Also, I was freezing outside.
Lampwig: This day is getting stranger and stranger. Are you the tooth Fairy?
Fairy: (says to Lampwig) No, but she’ll be collecting from you in a few weeks. I am the Blue Fairy.
Lampwig: The Blue Fairy? What’s going on? I’m so confused.
Fairy: Hello Lampwig, hello, Cricket. (Lampwig and Cricket look at each other confused. Fairy walks to Pinocchio) Pinocchio, I’ve come to grant the very kind Geppetto’s wish.
Lampwig: If you’re givin’ out wishes, I have a few you could grant me.
Cricket: Me too. I would like a new wardrobe to start.... and a new hat would be nice.
Fairy: Oh silly Cricket, I’m here for Geppetto. I heard his/her heart’s plea and I am here to fulfill it. (To Pinocchio) You, Pinocchio, will be the child Geppetto’s always wanted. I am giving you... the gift of life.
Lampwig: The gift of life? Doesn’t that require breathing?
Cricket: Yeah, and a little blood flow?
Fairy: Geppetto will, at last, be truly happy. My dear, wooden Pinocchio, you will be able to walk and talk and do the things other children do. But you must understand that life is precious and must be used wisely.
Cricket: You’re right Blue, wise choices are the way to go. Why, I’m a pro when it comes to makin’ wise choices.
Fairy: Well, Cricket, since you seem to be such a good judge of what is wise and right, I appoint you as Pinocchio’s conscience.
Cricket: His conscience? Really? Why, I can be that. I won’t let you down.
Fairy: Pinocchio, you must remember to be honest, kind and loving.
Cricket: Make sure he’s honest, kind and loving... that’ll be easy.
Fairy: Prove yourself brave, trustful and unselfish and some day you will be a real boy.
Lampwig & Cricket: A real boy?!
(Geppetto wakes up)
Geppetto: What’s going on?
Cricket: (point at Lampwig) It was all his/her fault.
Lampwig: My fault? I didn’t do anything. Besides, who are you gonna to believe? A human or a talking insect?
Cricket: Sooooo, you’re gonna play that card, are ya?
Geppetto: This can’t be real, I must be dreaming. I’ll go back to sleep and wake up again, then everything should be back to normal. (Geppetto lies back in the chair, closes his eyes as the three get close to Geppetto. He slowly opens his/her eyes and screams when he/she sees them still there) Agh! What’s happening?
Fairy: Oh, Geppetto, all is as it should be.
Geppetto: As it should be? I have a green bug standing on his hind legs and a blue butterfly talking to me. Nothing is as it should be. And Lampwig, what are you doing here?
Lampwig: Trust me, I’m as shocked as you. Maybe we’ve entered the Twilight Zone or something.
Fairy: I am the Blue Fairy and this is Cricket.
Lampwig: Cricket? (Sarcastically) Your mom couldn’t come up with something more creative, huh?
Fairy: Good Geppetto, you have given so much happiness to others that you deserve to have your wish come true.
Geppetto: My wish?
Fairy: You wished for Pinocchio to be able to walk and talk, did you not?
Geppetto: Yes, but….
Fairy: No one should be alone. You have a heart that’s pure and so much love to give, so I am here to give you…somebody to love.
Fairy: Geppetto, today is your lucky day. Your wish shall come true.
(Fairy leaves stage)
Geppetto: But.... but you’re a puppet.
Pinocchio: I’m not a puppet, I’m Pinocchio.
Geppetto, Lampwig & Cricket: He can talk!
Pinocchio: I can talk?!
Geppetto: Pinocchio? But I carved you from wood.
Pinocchio: Someday when I’m good and brave, the Blue Fairy said I can be a real boy.
Geppetto: I don’t believe it! My prayers have been answered. A son, I have a son! Pinocchio, you can call me Papa/Mama.
Cricket: A real, wooden boy. (Pinocchio tries to walk) Steady, Pinocchio, Steady. Before you run, you must walk. Then, you must think before you talk.
Pinocchio: Who are you?
Cricket: Why, I’m your conscience.
Pinocchio: My what?
Cricket: Your conscience. You know, the little voice that lets you know what’s good and bad, right and wrong, To do or not to do, that is the question.
Lampwig: And I’m your new best friend. The name’s Lampwig.
Cricket: You’re doing great, Pinocchio. All we need to do now is teach you a few basic skills.
Pinocchio: I like walking. I like talking. I wanna learn how to do everything. I wish I were a real boy.
Geppetto: To become a real boy, you’ll have to go to school and learn to read and write.
Pinocchio: I could do that. I could go with Lampwig.
Lampwig: Yeah, Geppetto. I’ll make sure he’s taken care of.
Geppetto: Real boys have to listen to their parents and stay out of trouble.
Pinocchio: I could do that too, Papa/Mama. If I were a real boy, I’d be the best son a anyone could ever have.
Geppetto: You are the best son anyone could ever have.
Cricket: Come on, Pinocchio. We’ve got lots to show you.
(Change scene to Town during song)
Pinocchio: Look at everything, Papa/Mama.
Geppetto: Yes, and look at all the people.
Pinocchio: They’re just like me…well, almost.
Geppetto: We must get you off to school, Pinocchio. Now remember, act just like the others and do exactly what they do.
(Townsfolk gather around)
Abbott: Hey, isn’t that the wooden puppet Geppetto had?
Lotti: It looks…different. Where’s its strings?
Abbott: It has no strings. It’s a marionette without strings, but that’s impossible.
Lotti: Improbable, but not impossible, ‘cause there it is, right in front of us.
Teacher: Good afternoon, Geppetto. I see we have a new student.
Geppetto: Yes. This is my son, Pinocchio.
Teacher: How nice. You have the same name as the marionette hanging in your father’s/mother’s workshop. It’ll be wonderful having you in class.
Geppetto: Say hello, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: Hello, Pinocchio. (All laugh)
Reed: It’s nice to meet you. (Shake hands) Ow! You gave me a splinter.
Liam: Look at the cockroach.
Reed: That’s not a cockroach, that’s a caterpillar.
Liam: No, wait. It’s a beetle.
Reed: A beetle, yuck.
Cricket: I am neither a beetle nor a caterpillar. And I am certainly not a cockroach. I am a cricket.
Reed: I think I stepped on something just like you yesterday.
Cricket: Did she have one antenna that leaned a bit to the left?
Cricket: (Gasp) Mama... (Whimper quietly)
Teacher: Children, follow me to the school house and we’ll get started.
Liam: Welcome to the most miserable day of your life.
Pinocchio: But I thought we were going to school to learn to read and write?
Geppetto: Good-bye, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: Good-bye, Papa/Mama.
(Pinocchio, Cricket, Teacher and kids leave stage. Geppetto looks around town at the different stands)
Stromboli: Come one, come all. Stromboli’s amazing marionette show!
Foxx: The most spectacular show of a lifetime!
Katt: A masterpiece of entertainment!
Stromboli: Come see the show everyone’s talking about. See marionettes dance - (Puppet sings annoyingly) La la la la - la la la.
Abbott: Candy, sweets, come buy three or four. Take some home to your family.
Come tomorrow and buy some more.
Lotti: Come and see the books, oh, the learning you could do.
Buy one off the shelf or bring your old ones to trade for new.
Jamie: Fresh bread for sale, fresh bread for sale. Can you smell it in the air?
Fresh bread for sale, fresh bread for sale. At a price that’s very fair.
Niles: Shoes for sale, shoes for sale. Buy ‘em big or small.
Shoes for sale, shoes for sale. Buy one pair, or buy ‘em all.
(Reed and Liam come running up to Geppetto)
Reed: Geppetto, Geppetto, we have to talk to you. The teacher told us to come and get you right away!
Liam: Pinocchio’s in trou-ble, and the Teacher’s really mad at him.
Geppetto: Oh, no! (Starts to leave)
Liam: Not the best way to start his first day in school. I remember my first day. My mom gave me a beautiful, red apple for the teacher.
Reed: She took one bite of it and bit the head right off a worm that was living inside.
Liam: My intentions were good, she just didn’t see it that way.
Stromboli: (Stops Geppetto) Excuse me, Signor/Signorina. Ah, what lovely bambinos you have.
Geppetto: Bambinos? These two? Oh, they’re not mine.
Stromboli: Oh, well, what lovely bambinos you’ve borrowed, then. (Laugh) You know what they would love? Stromboli’s amazing marionette show. And this is our biggest star! (Puppet sings in annoying bird voice again) Come and watch us dance and sing, La La La La, musa musa!
Reed: He’s awful. Who would pay to hear that?
Liam: Not me. That’s the worst puppet voice I’ve ever heard. Sounds like something dying.
Geppetto: Sorry, but we just don’t have time.
Stromboli: (to puppet) How do you expect to sell tickets if you sing off-key?
(Teacher, Lampwig and Pinocchio enter)
Teacher: There you are, Geppetto. We need to talk. Pinocchio has been unruly.
Abbott: Yeah, but I bet his bark…is worse than his bite! (laugh) Get it… Bark… He’s made out of wood. (Laughs again, everyone shakes their heads)
Teacher: He’s been disrespecting all the other children. I don’t know what you’ve been teaching him at home, but being disrespectful is definitely not allowed at school. You’re going to have to take your boy home right away.
Geppetto: Home? But it’s his first day of school.
Teacher: This kind of behavior will simply not be tolerated.
Geppetto: Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed that he is just a little different than the other children.
Teacher: I can see that he’s quite….peculiar, but all children have to follow the rules. And being different is no reason to mock the other students.
Geppetto: Mocking the other students? What do you mean?
Lampwig: Pinocchio’s been imitating all the other kids. Everything they do, he does right back.
Geppetto: Is this true?
Reed: Yes, everything I did, he would do.
Pinocchio: Yes, everything I did, he would do.
Reed: See. Pinocchio: See.
Reed: Stop copying me. Pinocchio: Stop copying me.
Geppetto: Pinocchio, stop that.
Pinocchio: You told me to act just like the other children and do exactly what they do. I was only trying to obey you, Papa/Mama.
Geppetto: Oh, Pinocchio. That’s not what I meant.
Pinocchio: What did you mean, then?
Geppetto: You have a lot to learn, son.
Teacher: He certainly does. Oh, and Geppetto, be careful. Boys like that often end up at Pleasure Island.
Abbott: Pleasure Island?! They say that’s a place where dreams come true.
Lampwig: I wanna go to Pleasure Island. I hear there’s cotton candy, taffy and lots of ice cream.
Abbott: They say that you can have whatever you want. And when you’re done, you just go back and get more.
Teacher: You need to stay away from that place.
Lotti: Wouldn’t you get sick if you ate nothing but junk all day? I mean, what about your daily fruits and vegetables?
Jamie: If vegetables were a must, I would suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
Lotti: I hear everything on Pleasure Island is free.
Jamie: And if everything is free, there’d be no need to work.
Teacher: You need to stay away from that place.
Niles: Point me in that direction and I’ll leave right away!
Reed: I’d wanna go in the fun houses and look at myself in all those wonky mirrors.
Niles: Show me how to get there and I’ll leave today!
Liam: I’d get the biggest candy bar I could find. Then I would wanna ride all the rides again and again.
Teacher: You need to stay away from that place.
All: (except teacher) (start talking to each other about pleasure Island)
Teacher: Everyone! Quiet! (Deep breath) Listen to all of you go on and on about such a terrible and mischievous place. Get your heads out of the clouds and back down here where you belong.
Jamie: Down here where we belong? But why? I slave all day long making bread, rolls and anything else that requires yeast, and I’m sick of it.
Teacher: Have you ever been to Pleasure Island?
Teacher: Keep it that way. Not everything that appears to be good is good.
Jamie: Not everything that is rumored to be bad, is bad. Oh, come on. You work day in and day out in that school house. You mean to tell me you wouldn’t want to go to a place where there are no worries, no responsibilities and no chores?
Teacher: Pleasure Island is not some paradise. Places like that exist only in the books you read and the stories you tell to your children.
Niles: But what if it does exist? What if all the rumors are true?
Teacher: They’re not.
Niles: What if Pleasure Island is all that they say it is? Wouldn’t you all wanna go?
All: (except Teacher, Geppetto & Cricket) (Ad Lib: Absolutely. I would love to go. It would be great)
Teacher: Listen to me, Pleasure Island might seem like a magical and enchanting place, but it’s all a lie. It will deceive you long enough to lure you in, then the darkness of that place will show its ugly face. People who end up there are never seen again. (all pause, Reed and Liam start crying)
Reed & Liam: (Ad Lib crying)
Teacher: Oh, for heaven’s sake, enough of this nonsense. Back to the school house. As for you, Pinocchio, if you plan to come back tomorrow, you will need a spelling book. (To other children) Let’s go, we still have a lot to learn today.
Kids: (Ad Lib: Aw, man, I don’t wanna learn. I wanna go play. Do we have to go back to school?)
(Children and Teacher leave stage)
Stromboli: Ah, Signor/Signorina, another borrowed bambino, I see.
Geppetto: Oh, no, this one’s mine.
Stromboli: Well, since you seem to have a free afternoon, why don’t you come and see my show? (looks oddly at Pinocchio)
Geppetto: Not today. Come on, Pinocchio.
Stromboli: Oh, what a nice little… wooden boy. Excuse me, about your boy, Pinochle (pronounced PEE-nuh-kel).
Geppetto: It’s Pinocchio.
Stromboli: Whatever. I’m always on the look-out for young talent and I couldn’t help but notice your…son.
Geppetto: We’re not interested.
Pinocchio: Not interested in what, Papa/Mama?
Stromboli: Do you like to sing and dance, my boy?
Pinocchio: Oh, yes.
Geppetto: I said we’re not interested. (Pinocchio and Geppetto walk away)
Stromboli: A marionette without strings. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Foxx: Why, yes I am.
Katt: (Pulls Foxx aside) You are? Well, what’s he thinking? ‘Cause I have no idea.
Foxx: I don’t either. I just pretend like I do so he doesn’t think I’m worthless and kick me out on the streets. You should probably do the same. (both start nodding)
Geppetto: Didn’t you know that you shouldn’t talk to strangers, Pinocchio?
Geppetto: Oh, there are so many things I must teach you, my son. But, I’m new at this. I don’t know the first thing about raising a child. I should have asked that Blue Fairy for an instruction manual. Wait, that’s it! That’s what I’ll do.
Pinocchio: You’ll do what, Papa/Mama?
Geppetto: Pinocchio, I want you to take this money, go to the bookstore and buy yourself a spelling book. Then, I want you to go home and I will meet you there. And don’t talk to any strangers along the way.
Pinocchio: Okay, Papa/Mama. I’ll buy my Spelling book and go straight home.
Geppetto: Good boy.
(Geppetto leaves stage.)
(Foxx and Katt come up to Pinocchio. Cricket comes up)
Foxx: Good afternoon. Pleasant day, wouldn’t you say?
Pinocchio: I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.
Katt: Oh, we’re not strangers. We’re pals…friends…bros.
Pinocchio: Oh. Then I guess I can talk to you. Say, are you a fox?
Foxx: Of course I’m a fox.
Pinocchio: And, are you a cat?
Katt: Of course I’m a cat. Wanna rub behind my ears? I don’t have fleas. (Purr)
Pinocchio: Not really.
(Stromboli chases Cricket away with a fly swatter)
Foxx: So, what brings a little guy like you into town today?
Pinocchio: My papa/mama said that I had to go to the bookstore to get a spelling book. Then, I must go straight home.
Foxx: Aw, a boy that listens to his papa/mama. Ain’t that sweet, Katt?
Katt: Oh, heart-warmin’ that is.
Foxx: Well, kid, let me tell you somethin’ my dear ol’ papa/mama used to tell me. He’d/She’d say, “Son, school is for smart kids and fish, and you’re neither.”
Katt: And my papa/mama used to say to me, (to the tune of the Meow Mix commercial) “Meow, meow, meow, meow - Meow, meow, meow, meow - Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.”
Foxx: That’s the theme song to a commercial. A cat commercial. You got your own theme song? Well, I can beat that one! (dance to song)
Pinocchio: But I have to go to school so I can learn to read and write and learn my numbers.
Foxx: We didn’t go to school and we know our numbers. Don’t we, Katt?
Katt: Yep. All the way to ten.
Foxx: And as for writin’... take a look at this sign we made...
Katt: (Hold sign upside-down. Foxx hits Katt) Ow.
Pinocchio: What does it say?
Katt: It says, “Greatest Show on Earth.”
Pinocchio: A show?
Stromboli: Not just any show, the greatest show on earth. We have dancers and singers and some of the most amazing choreography you’ll ever see. This show is a huge hit everywhere we go.
Pinocchio: I would like to see your show, but I’m supposed to buy my school book and get home. Besides, I’m not sure I can trust the three of you.
Stromboli, Foxx & Katt: Can’t trust us?
Stromboli: What is trust anyway?
Stromboli: And better yet, why don’t you come and work for me, Pinsipio?
Pinocchio: It’s Pinocchio.
Stromboli: Yeah, whatever. Listen, my little wooden-headed friend, wouldn’t you rather have a day full of razzamatazz and razzamatooks instead of a day full of boring lessons and books?
Pinocchio: Well, sure, but...
Foxx: We’ve got dancin’ puppets.
Pinocchio: Dancing puppets?
Katt: And Foxx does a first class dance number.
Stromboli: And you will hear the roar of the crowd. They’ll be clapping and cheering and yelling out your name.
Cricket: Pinocchio, may I have a word with you? (Pulls him aside) Beware of temptation. Applause may be good for the moment, but it can lead to trouble.
Pinocchio: But I just wanna do a few shows with my new friends.
Cricket: Remember what your Papa/mama told you to do? Besides, I don’t trust Stromboli or his two sneaky sidekicks. I tell ya, they’ve got evil plans in the works and they’re gonna use you to make ‘em come true.
Pinocchio: Why do you have to make everything so hard?
Cricket: No pain, no gain. (Katt and Foxx pull Pinocchio back to them)
Foxx: Whataya say, little wooden-head?
Katt: Are ya in, or are ya in?
Pinocchio: It does sound fun. A job on the big stage…Okay, I’ll do it. But I better send a letter to my papa/mama so he/she knows where I am.
(All leave stage but Cricket)
Cricket: Pinocchio! (Angrily) Pi-no-cchi-o! I feel like I’m talkin’ to a tree. Oh, yeah…I kinda am.
(Cricket leaves stage)
Geppetto: (whispering) Blue Fairy, Blue Fairy... Where on earth do you find a blue fairy when you need one? (Louder) Blue Fairy? Hello? Are you there? (Blue Fairy enters) There you are.
Fairy: Ah, Geppetto. You now have a new son. And you deserve that happiness for all you’ve given to others. Oh, how I love making wishes come true.
Geppetto: Well, about that wish. I think it was... defective.
Geppetto: You know, not quite right.
Fairy: Oh, impatient Geppetto. Your wish was not defective.
Geppetto: No offense, but I think you forgot somethin’ that should have come with the wish.
Fairy: Oh, Geppetto. I never forget anything. The Green Fairy forgets things, and the Red Fairy forgets many, many things. But me... I never forget.
Geppetto: Wasn’t Pinocchio supposed to come with some sort of instruction manual?
Fairy: (pause to think) No, no manual.
Geppetto: What about a quick guide?
Fairy: (pause to think) Nope.
Geppetto: Cliff notes?
Geppetto: Well, then, can you do some sort of magic to teach him all the things he needs to know? This parenting stuff is really hard.
Fairy: Oh, Geppetto.
Fairy: Why, Geppetto, I don’t fix what isn’t broken. Farewell, and when you need me again, just let your heart call to me.
(Fairy leaves. Lampwig runs on stage)
Lampwig: Geppetto, Geppetto!
Geppetto: What is it, Lampwig?
Lampwig: I went to your house to see Pinocchio, and look what I found. This letter was on the door. It’s from Pinocchio.
Geppetto: Oh, no. Let me read it… No, you read it… No, I’ll read it… No, you just read it.
Lampwig: Dear Papa/Mama, While I was in town, Stromboli offered me a job in his show. He told me that he was gonna make me a big star, so I went with him/her. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. Your loving son, Pinocchio.
Geppetto: Oh no! We must find him! Quick! (Leave stage)
(Scene change begins. Set up for Show)
Stromboli: Places, places! The show will start soon. I need everyone ready. (Looks at Cricket) You again? Ugh, can’t you just go find a leaf to eat?
Cricket: I must stay with Pinocchio. I’m his conscience, you know. He’ll never be a real boy if he keeps making decisions that aren’t right.
Stromboli: His conscience? (Sarcastically) How’d you land that job?
Cricket: It doesn’t matter. My point is that wherever Pinocchio is, I will be. It’s that simple.
Stromboli: Well, you know, Pinocchio decided on his own that he wanted to be a part of this show.
Cricket: I’m sure a little persuasion from you and those two furballs helped make that happen.
Stromboli: Perhaps, but right now, I have a show to put on. So if you’re gonna be hanging around here, you might as well be in it yourself. I’m sure everyone will be thrilled to see a talking cricket.
Cricket: I will do no such thing! You will not drag me into your evil and manipulative schemes.
Stromboli: If you do the show, I’ll choreograph you in, right next to Pinocchio. That way you can keep an extra close eye on him.
Cricket: (pause to think) Where’s my costume? (Stromboli starts to walk away) And I want solos. If I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do it right. And make sure that spotlight is on me the entire time. (To audience) I’ll show them what a star really looks like.
Stromboli: Alright my young recruits, this is it. You’ve trained hard for this moment. When you get out there, show them what you’ve got.
Geppetto: Excuse me, I’m looking for my son. Have you seen him?
Stromboli: Aren’t you Pinochle’s Father?
Geppetto: (frustrated) Yes, and I’m looking for him. He left me a letter saying that he joined your show.
Stromboli: Maybe he likes the stage.
Geppetto: (angry) Someone forced him into this.
Stromboli: All actors have come to me of their own free will. If your son is in my show, I can promise you that no manipulation, coercion or bribery was used to help him make his decision.
Foxx: Boss, one of the actors is breaking down again backstage, saying they don’t wanna be forced to be here anymore and wanna go home.
Stromboli: Give ‘em three suckers, one candy bar and a red bull. That should change their mind.
Geppetto: What kind of show are you running?
Stromboli: Why, the greatest show on earth, of course. (walks away)
Geppetto: I’ve gotta find Pinocchio and get ‘em out of here.
(Music plays to introduce the opening of the show)
Abbott: Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages. You will be captivated by what you’re about to witness.
Lotti: We can guarantee you, you’ve never seen a show like this.
Abbott: So get ready to be entertained like you’ve never been entertained before.
Lotti: In-tro-ducing the most aaaaaaaamazing traveling show ever!
(Hold up “clap” sign)
(Hold up “clap” sign)
Stromboli: What a great crowd. I want to thank all of you for filling my pockets at the door as you entered. Your money will be well spent on the thing that matters most… me.
Abbott: How about we give you… a little Razzamatazz. Cue the music.
Lotti: What a stupendous display of dancing, melodrama and music. I think it’s time we bring on the dancing puppets.
Jamie: It’s big... It’s green.... It’s time we welcome to our stage, the dancing cricket!
(Hold up “clap” sign)
(Hold up “clap” sign)
Jamie: You know ‘em, you love ‘em… (pause) and they paid me to say that. Introducing the furry duo that’s gonna bring down the house. Put your hands together for Sly Foxx and Klever Katt.
Jamie: And now, our newest star. It’s time to welcome to the stage the string-less wooden puppet.
Niles: Did you say the string-less wooden puppet?
Jamie: Why, yes I did.
Niles: You mean, string-less, as in no strings?
Jamie: That’s exactly what I mean.
Niles: That’s amazing! A puppet with no strings. How about that.
Jamie: Without further ado, here he is the string-less wooden puppet, Piiiiiiiii-nocchio!
(Hold up “clap” sign)
Niles: That’s all for today. We hope you enjoyed the show.
Stromboli: If you didn’t grab refreshments before the production, grab them on your way out.
Niles: Wait a minute, we’re not finished, are we? I thought someone had to be swallowed by a whale first.
Stromboli: It’s a twenty minute intermission, they’ll be back. (To audience) Candy, drinks and popcorn await you. See you all soon.
End of Act 1